Firefly Photo Essay
Ta Da!

A Firefly Photo Essay. And err... I don't quite know if it'll be a successful PR tool, but... omg! TEH PRETTY!!



A long time ago. In a galaxy far far away…

There was a show called The X-Files. (now, stick with me here...)


And it was good.


And then it got to a ninth season and it wasn't so good.


Still, people watched and it finally had a series finale.


And it was bad.

(despite having Adam Baldwin, I must say. UGH!)

Regardless, the FOX network decided to air another show that featured a laconic male lead, spaceships, and the like – and thus began the life of Firefly, the television series, as created by Joss Whedon (the man behind Buffy and Angel, la la la--)


To finish the historical context bit first – FOX, the blessed television network that it is, aired 11 of the 14 episodes… mostly out of order… and surprise surprise, decided that the show was crap and wasn't pulling the numbers that THE X-FILES, a NINE YEAR OLD SHOW, was pulling (even when it sucked the most in season 9. You don't replace a beloved old horse with a new, snarky colt and expect it to do everything like that old horse. And yes my metaphor is crap but ARGH!). So FOX cancelled Firefly, dropping it like a po' hot potato.

However, due to the fact that the show created a cult of fans and the DVD sales of the 14 episodes was extremely successful...

($30 at Amazon.com!)


...Universal Studios decided to sign Joss and cast on for a motion picture – named Serenity, premiering September 30.

Big Damn Trailer.

'Nuff with the background…onto the pretty –

Exposition!Liz!

Earth was used up.


So the people left and found a new solar system (the science in this show is pretty much… NOT…so deal with it). The human race worked together to terraform most of the planets in that solar system to be like "Earth that was."


The government took control of the core planets and that high& mighty group is called the Alliance. Which yes, we love the nod to Star Wars, even if it isn't, as omg, you can totally see the social-political commentary in this show reflecting on how stupid the New Republic is in the Star Wars Expanded Universe… but I digress…


Anyway. The people on the planets on the rim decided that the Alliance were poncy motherfuckers and started a civil war. They were called the Independents or the Browncoats.

(see? coat? brown? yes.)

One sergeant in the war was one Malcolm Reynolds.


Zoe was in his platoon and is freakin' amazon-like, awesome and all-around cool!


In the Battle of Serenity Valley, the Browncoats had their asses handed to them by the Alliance and the war was over. In this terrible battle, Mal lost his faith and it kinda broke him in many many ways (which makes him fun, omg!).


So, after Unification of the Alliance and the Independents, there wasn't much for old Browncoats to do… 'cept for cunning heroic crime work.

(Smugglers! like Han Solo!)

He bought a ship, Firefly-class, and named it, with both meaning and irony, "Serenity."


His second mate is the fair Zoe.


His pilot is the hilarious and darling Wash (who, after a rough start, got Zoe to marry him, hee!)


His muscle on board is the man they call Jayne.


His genius mechanic is the boy-crazy Kaylee.


And to keep his ship "respectable," he brought on board a space whore registered Companion named Inara.


In the pilot episode, he picks up three passengers for fare – even though they end up as crew members for a time—

Book – who is supposedly a Shepherd (missionary, preacher, man of God, etc), but is obviously something serkitly more than that…

(I love this picture. Yowzah!!)

And the fugitives – Dr. Simon Tam and his sister River. River is a 17 year old super genius who went to what was assumed to be an Alliance School of Total Awesomeness, but really was an Evil Laboratory where Evil Men Plundered Her Brain. Simon was a very successful doctor in the core planets, but when he realized that his sister needed saving, he gave up everything to rescue her. They are hiding from the law. Simon is a genius doctor; River is a genius… skerry… freaky…. psychic… awesome thing with serious issues with her brain.


(::shows blatant favoritism::)

And…well…. THEY MAKE CRIME! They smuggle stuff, they rob trains...


And stuff happens to them!


And it's neat!


And there are pretty dresses!


And lots of UST!


Lots and lots of UST!



And slash!


And Lesbians!


And SNARK!


And a slut with a mission!


And cross dressing!


And oh – villains—

There are the REAVERS. And they are scary as hell. In this western-set-in-space-ness thing, they are the Comanches. Yet, they actually have no souls. They are completely unredeemable scary-ass creatures of doom and destruction. And they're bad. And scary. And ew. And WAAAH. They're men who went to the edge of space and were so changed by it, they lost their humanity. They're raiders. And as Zoe explains to the wibble!Simon: "If they take the ship, they'll rape us to death, eat our flesh and sew our skins into their clothing and if we're very very lucky, they'll do it in that order." … they're also one of the main villains in the movie. ::CLINGS::



There are the Blue Sun guys ("two by two, hands of blue") and they have killing pens of doom and they are looking for River. And they are scary evil in a sort of Conspiracy Villain Thingies with Evil Weapons sorta way.


…and …

There is sex!


And imminent violence!


And laughter!


And pretty!


And it's all about how an ensemble cast works perfectly well in a science fiction meets western genre otp!




And there are ONLY FOURTEEN EPISODES. Pick any show you watch and think of the first 14 episodes and tell me if all 14 are sharp, wonderful, funny and worth watching multiple times. HA! Firefly pwns them all. And here's a quick tease for each episode...


SERENITY, the pilot
EXPOSITION CENTRAL! We meet all the characters, meet the ship, meet the villains, meet the plot devices, meet the 'ships, meet the slash pairings,…and omg, it's the full smorgasbord of entertainment with humor, drama, romance, etc etc. A nice way to spend an hour and thirty minutes (two episode pilot) Plus: "We will rule over all this land, and we will call it... "This Land."" "I think we should call it "your grave!"" "Ah, curse your sudden but inevitable betrayal!" " Ha ha ha! Mine is an evil laugh! Now die!" "Oh, no, God! Oh, dear God in heaven!"


TRAIN JOB
They rob a train! Thrilling heroics! Ethical quandaries! The Joy of Drugs! Meet Niska, the evil scary bad mob boss with a kink for tacky lamps! Oh the hilarity. Plus -- "Did he just go crazy and fall asleep?"


BUSHWACKED
Tackles the Reavers again as villains and how fucked up and nasty they are. Plus, omg, "The legs. Oh yeah, definitely have to say it was her legs. You can put that down. Her legs, and right where her legs meet her back. Actually, that whole area. That, and above it."


SHINDIG
A peek into the life of a Companion and how Mal has conflicted feelings for Inara's profession and honor. Plus – "What we need's a diversion. I say Zoe gets naked." "Nope." "I could get naked." "NOOO!"


SAFE
A peek into the life of the Tams with flashbacks and the fact that they get all kidnapped by hill folk. And BURNED AT THE STAKE. And, new things are learned about Book, cue dramatic music. Plus – "Dear Diary, today I was pompous, and my sister was crazy. Today, we were kidnapped by hill folk, never to be seen again. It was the Best. Day. Ever."


OUR MRS. REYNOLDS
Mal gets married! Hilarity ensues. Perhaps the best episode ever. Plus – "And I think maybe you gonna give me a little one-on-one time with the missus." "Oh, I think you might want to reconsider that last part. See, I married me a powerful ugly creature." "How can you say that? How can you shame me in front of new people?" "If I could make you prettier, I would." "Ah! You are not the man I met a year ago!"


JAYNESTOWN
They go to a planet and discover that Jayne is a local hero! MUCH hilarity ensues! Plus - The man they call Jaaaayne!


OUT OF GAS
Here we learn, through really cool editing, how Mal got Wash, Kaylee and Jayne on the ship. Great sense of drama! This is very often firefly fan's favorite episode. Plus, it's very very very pretty. "Well. Looks can be deceiving." "Not as deceiving as a lowdown dirty...deceiver."


ARIEL
This is Liz's favorite episode because Simon is super active/aggressive/in control and we get to see how cool of a doctor he is. Anyway, they rob medicine from an Alliance hospital while Simon tries to figure out what happened to River and the Blue Sun Evil Guys with Pens of Dooom chase them. Really great drama in this episode. Mmm. Plus - "What methods did you use?" "We tried pulmonary stimulators and--and cardiac... We ..." "Infusers." "Infusers... Infusers. Pulmonary stimulators and..." "And cardiac infusers." "What about cortical electrodes?" "Oh! Uh, we forgot 'em." "Let's try that again."


WAR STORIES
The torture/super action episode! Very thrilling! River shows her true colors! Errr… yeah! And there is lesbian action! And…….. "I'll be in my bunk!"


TRASH
Return of Yosaffbridge! Great heist! Sexual tension everywhere! Naked Mal – worth the ticket price alone! Plus - "Well, I say as a rule that girlfolk ain't to be trusted." "Jayne is a girl's name." "Well Jayne ain't a girl. She starts on that "girl's name" thing, I'm a show her good an' all I got man parts." "...I'm trying to think of a way for you to be cruder. It's just not coming."


THE MESSAGE
A soldier from the war shows up…err… in a coffin… to get help from Mal and Zoe. We also meet one of the only Space Jews in the 'verse. And plus -- "How's it sit? Pretty cunning, don'tchya think?" "I think it's the sweetest hat ever." "Makes a statement." "Yeah, yeah!" "A man walks down the street in that hat, people know he's not afraid of anything." "Damn straight."


HEART OF GOLD
The crew save a whore house from an evil misogynist! Sex and tears ensue! Plus – "Everybody's got somebody. Wash, tell me I'm pretty." "Were I unwed, I would take you in a manly fashion." "Cuz I'm pretty?" "Cuz you're pretty."


OBJECTS IN SPACE
A bounty hunter comes on board to take the Tams but River with her freaky scariness and Simon with his OMG LOVE OF HIS SISTER make the job a little too hard on him. Plus - "He's really very...gentle...and fuzzy. We're becoming fast friends." "You folks are all insane." "Well, my sister's a ship. We had a complicated childhood."


SERENITY, the film
EEEEEEEE!!!! Focused on River and what was done to her brain and why everyone's so anxious to get their hands on her. And Reavers play a key role.




::gasps:: I'm sure I didn't cover everything, like, OMG EVERYONE IS HOT AND YOU MUST SEE IT JUST FOR THE SHALLOW REASON THAT IT IS HOT!!!...

And if you have read and glee'd through all or any of this, I give you a medal, a hug and a demand that you go watch Firefly, write fic, make icons and squee. Or… as Joss says, "this is a time for silent contemplation." ::winks::

ps. :: pimps firefly_daily ::